Sometimes I would visit Tammy and she would be in bed and not want to get up. Instead of just leaving I would sometimes spend a bit of time tidying up, doing dishes or laundry. She never asked me to, but it wasn’t even really about that. I knew if she was up to it she would have done it herself, it wasn’t Tammy being lazy like i know some people thought. I knew that when she was up to it she would go back to getting all those small things done herself, so i thought, why not give her a hand in the mean time.

I made a decision that I would just take Tammy as she was on any given day, it saved me from getting upset or frustrated. I'd let her know that I was there if she needed to talk, and asked about what was going on, so I could get a better understanding of what if was like for her. If I was worried I would tell her to ring her case manager and stay with her to make sure she did, just so someone else knew how she was feeling that day and if there were any risks for her safety. I would sometimes talk to her mum or mine to get things off my chest and look after myself.

Some days when Tammy and I talked it was just about normal stuff, magazines, friends, movies, and other times it was how she was feeling that day, and even sometimes about how I was feeling about it all. I told her that I worried about her but knew she was strong enough to come out the other side. I tried to make sure that I found positives to take out of each day, even if they were only small things, so we weren’t just focusing on all the negatives – that’s a tip her mum had got from her case manager and passed on to me. It made me feel better, rather than just hearing all the bad stuff. I think for Tammy it helped to, for someone to point out some good when all she could see was bad.

She thanked me once for staying positive even when things were tough and not walking away. I told her she was my best friend and it would take more than an illness to get rid of me!


Recovery is possible for everyone - it is a process of change, through which you can improve your health and wellness, live a self directed life, and strive to reach your full potential

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